Not your typical Pregnant Blog.

Not your typical Pregnant Blog.

All I keep hearing is “I LOVE Pregnancy”!!! Really? REALLY? What do you love? The not being able to eat sushi, have a deli sandwich or not taking part in National Wine day or Cinco de drinko??

The one thing I’m enjoying is not getting my period. Except I still feel bloated and I have heartburn. And I’m also super irritated still (that might be cause I drive in LA). I had just bought a costco version of tampons before I found out I was pregnant so I’m selling them for 5 cents a stick. I just hang around in bathrooms till I find someone in need.

I guess I just have to get used to being a mom. I already have all the worries down. I will tell you that this won’t be some inspirational blog about how I’m organic and completely in shape and yadda yadda yadda. I don’t drink or smoke while I’m pregnant and I haven’t eaten prosciutto in months.

So I guess I have no niche except that I don’t understand what women love about it. Am I fascinated that I can create a human being within my body? Yes. Do I think women are more powerful than we even now? Absolutely. Do I think you have to have a child or love being pregnant to be significant? No & No. Guess what? I have a lot of childless friends. Some of them aren’t even married. (Insert gasp here). In fact I was one of those women up to a few years ago.

But I did meet the love of my life and I wouldn’t change a thing. I met him getting a loan at the bank. Ladies forget the clubs, go open an account!
And I moved into the world of domestication right up to the wife/motherhood part. All I’ve known before that was cats and booty calls.

I think we can be brilliant, successful women whether we have kids or not. Whether we are married or not. News Flash guys: Not every woman wants to get married and birth your children. We don’t all have clocks ticking. Mine was just on snooze. My career clock IS ticking for an HBO special, thank god my comedy ovaries don’t shrivel up and go away after a certain year.

So here I am, the undomesticated, unlikely housewife soon to be mom who will probably upset other moms (the perfect ones I’m assuming) when my son picks up dirt and eats it for the first time. Get your judgement on cause you know what? Mommy doesn’t give a F*CK.

P.S. I have a webisode that you can check out on my youtube: Pregnant & Puzzled. But if you don’t I don’t give a f*ck about that either.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG5mfihnrnA